On Friday, I turned thirty. Which isn’t entirely odd for me, as I’ve pretty much behaved as if I was thirty for a good chunk of the previous decade. I settled into adult life super quickly and I’ve loved every moment of it. But, something feels different about this. Odd. A little uncomfortable. For most of last week I was sad. Maybe a little depressed, but mostly just blue. I was blah and I cried for days. And I don’t think it was at all because of the turning thirty, because I’m not sad about it. I’m quite thrilled in many ways. It definitely feels like a new chapter in my life. There’s something different and I don’t know if it’s just the number.
I think many people are settling into themselves when they hit thirty. They’ve discovered who they are and they are finally hitting a place where they are comfortable in their own skin. For me, I’m almost feeling the opposite. I’ve been pretty solid in the “who am I?” category for a long time, and suddenly, I’m feeling unsettled. Almost that I packed all of these amazing milestones into one decade! Too many good things and now, what is thirty going to be?! How am I going to top building my marriage, building my business, building my home? What’s next? I feel like I’m sitting on a plateau and I want to keep climbing up, but I’m not quite sure how. How do I make sure that I’m constantly being challenged? What’s the next adventure? I don’t know any of these answer and I hate the feeling of complacency while I’m figuring it out. Somehow this birthday has brought all of this to the surface. For some reason I feel that a new number must mean the beginning of a new chapter.
So, here’s to thirty. To rediscovering and moving up. To figuring it all out. To finding new challenges and beginning the next chapter. Cheers!