On Friday, I turned thirty.  Which isn’t entirely odd for me, as I’ve pretty much behaved as if I was thirty for a good chunk of the previous decade.  I settled into adult life super quickly and I’ve loved every moment of it.  But, something feels different about this.  Odd.  A little uncomfortable.  For most of last week I was sad.  Maybe a little depressed, but mostly just blue.   I was blah and I cried for days.  And I don’t think it was at all because of the turning thirty, because I’m not sad about it.  I’m quite thrilled in many ways.  It definitely feels like a new chapter in my life.  There’s something different and I don’t know if it’s just the number.

I think many people are settling into themselves when they hit thirty.   They’ve discovered who they are and they are finally hitting a place where they are comfortable in their own skin.  For me, I’m almost feeling the opposite.  I’ve been pretty solid in the “who am I?” category for a long time, and suddenly, I’m feeling unsettled.  Almost that I packed all of these amazing milestones into one decade!  Too many good things and now, what is thirty going to be?!   How am I going to top building my marriage, building my business, building my home?  What’s next?  I feel like I’m sitting on a plateau and I want to keep climbing up, but I’m not quite sure how.  How do I make sure that I’m constantly being challenged?  What’s the next adventure? I don’t know any of these answer and I hate the feeling of complacency while I’m figuring it out.  Somehow this birthday has brought all of this to the surface.  For some reason I feel that a new number must mean the beginning of a new chapter.

So, here’s to thirty.  To rediscovering and moving up.  To figuring it all out.  To finding new challenges and beginning the next chapter.  Cheers!